You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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