Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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