Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want to fling myself into the sun
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
