yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
