Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize