I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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