Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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