Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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