The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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