The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
