I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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