Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
