Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize