Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
