GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is my gift to your gina
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
