I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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