Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
