they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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