Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize