so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
