Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
