So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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