ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just found puke in my bra..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
