Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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