are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
