A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize