Me. At least after what I've been through.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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