You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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