if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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