Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
