She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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