one two three fourrrrnication!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
