You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
