Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
