HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
