So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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