Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
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I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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