I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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