do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
