i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
