so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I love you.
Bad choice
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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