Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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