Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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