Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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