So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
