I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
