Can i not drive my cunt home
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
