So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize