He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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