My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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