Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
