new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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