Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
