Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
