He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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