3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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