a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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