btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize