pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
