Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
