how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
